Thursday, November 4, 2010

Nervous Energy

As I child I used to rub my hands together
constantly
I shook my hands so fast that the fingers
slapped together
I made strange percussion
between my palms
for years and

then I didn't
for
years and
years
a childhood quirk, i thought

but now, and 39 years of age,
i'm rubbing my hands together again!
all the time!

i recently started ingesting a new combination of
      psychotropic chemicals;
        Abilify plus prozac plus lithium and it's
allowed me to beat back the depression,
to stop seeing shiny projections of my imminent self-inflicted death
around every corner

I feel I'm in my 10-year-old body
      again,
bursting with excess energy,
with nowhere to go but out,
out through shaking hands, rubbing hands,
palms slapping together
I can't decide to call is simply a
     side effect
     or a
bizarre time-travel restoration to my pre-depression chemical balance of being
------------------------------

By the way, I've been having a lot of fun at my art residency in Spain.  For some of you the horrifying posts may be more compelling, but I hope we can all appreciate and celebrate the moments of respite.
The times when playing is possible!
Check it out at:
palmerfishmanindustries.blogspot.com

necklace assembled from finds at Les Encants flea market.
shirt gifted from Carla, Portuguese writer.

channeling Frida with wearable lung-wings

2 comments:

  1. Love the lungs and the flying fingers. thank you for continuing to support and inspire me. Kel

    ReplyDelete
  2. So glad the abilify is working!!
    You are wonderful.

    ReplyDelete